Ozzy Osbourne has announced ‘Ozzfiesta,’ a five-day event which will take place next May at the Hard Rock Hotel in Riviera Maya, Mexico. The fest will feature performances from Zakk Wylde, as well as his band Black Label Society, a comedy club, an intimate beachside Ozzy Osbourne concert on the closing night of the event and much more. The five-day extravaganza will take place from May 27-31 entirely at the Hard Rock Hotel. The all-inclusive package will treat fans to a ‘Welcome Party’ featuring an acoustic performance from Zakk Wylde, a dinner party hosted by Sharon Osbourne, a charity golf tournament and the closing night Ozzy concert.
Tickets for ‘Ozzfiesta’ went on sale last Friday for the price of just under $1900 for ONE adult ticket…. $500 per ticket for children between the ages of 4 and 17…and $100 to 3 and under.
If you book the first 500 rooms for the event, you will get a special meet & greet with Ozzy. Each room booked also includes a $750 resort credit, which can be used for spa treatments, golf and more.
9 months later…….I was born unto the world.
Life was rough for young James Patrick, the Unigod, as the other Unicorn’s did not let him play in their Unicorn games. So he decided to set out on his own to find Castle Greyskull for guidance. At the gates, he was confronted by Papa Smurf and Gizmo and was told that their master was not home, but that he could seek guidance from The Princess of Power……..She-Ra.
She-Ra showed young JP all the wisdom and physical capabilities he would need to succeed in the world. She then transferred him to Peekablue for more physical training…….Much more physical training. From there, his training shifted to Mermista, then to Frosta, Flutterina, and Florence Henderson.
How JP actually ventured into the radio business is still a mystery. Some say that he lost all his magical powers when he wagered & lost them in a game of Old-Maid. Some say that he drank away all his powers, others suggest that he rode in from the sunset on the shoulders of a sasquatch to the ROCK 108 studios. The full truth may never be known. All that we do know is that he was forced to work on planet Earth and if you get him drunk enough, he will tell you the painful, physical, sexual stories that commenced in Castle Greyskull.
You may be wondering at this point of my story, “Where is his Unicorn’s horn?” All we can say is that it’s clearly not on his forehead.
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