Rob Zombie previously announced that his ‘Great American Nightmare’ Halloween horror attraction will take place in Scottsdale, Ariz., this fall, but that’s not the only location. He has has just revealed that he’ll also bring the attraction to the Midwest, setting up shop near Chicago.
Just like in Arizona, the attraction at the Illinois fest will feature three haunted houses that are based on Rob Zombie’s films. ‘The Lords of Salem in Total Black Out’ is a mind-twisting maze,‘The Haunted World of El Superbeasto 3D’ allows the visitor to use 3D glasses, and the ‘Haunt of 1,000 Corpses,’ which is a haunted house as well as a ‘Murder Ride.’‘
'Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare’ will run from Sept. 26-Nov. 1 in Villa Park, Ill. and Rob Zombie will open the festivities with a concert. There will also be an assortment of other attractions besides the haunted houses. Tickets for the Chicago-area event will go on sale Wednesday for $25 for all dates from Sept. 27-Nov. 1. The Sept. 26 opening, which features the Zombie concert, has tickets starting at only $45. For all ticketing, including VIP packages, check the ‘Great American Nightmare’ website.
9 months later…….I was born unto the world.
Life was rough for young James Patrick, the Unigod, as the other Unicorn’s did not let him play in their Unicorn games. So he decided to set out on his own to find Castle Greyskull for guidance. At the gates, he was confronted by Papa Smurf and Gizmo and was told that their master was not home, but that he could seek guidance from The Princess of Power……..She-Ra.
She-Ra showed young JP all the wisdom and physical capabilities he would need to succeed in the world. She then transferred him to Peekablue for more physical training…….Much more physical training. From there, his training shifted to Mermista, then to Frosta, Flutterina, and Florence Henderson.
How JP actually ventured into the radio business is still a mystery. Some say that he lost all his magical powers when he wagered & lost them in a game of Old-Maid. Some say that he drank away all his powers, others suggest that he rode in from the sunset on the shoulders of a sasquatch to the ROCK 108 studios. The full truth may never be known. All that we do know is that he was forced to work on planet Earth and if you get him drunk enough, he will tell you the painful, physical, sexual stories that commenced in Castle Greyskull.
You may be wondering at this point of my story, “Where is his Unicorn’s horn?” All we can say is that it’s clearly not on his forehead.
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