Did you know me and Katie are having a baby?
Yea who would have thought? Ned is evolving to Dad Status this month…or whenever baby decides that she wants to show up…cause you know, baby comes along on baby time.
But as a new dad, it can be quite an experience of prepping for the unpreppable. I can be as prepped as I want for this new life, but I have literally no idea what I am doing, for the most part. I can have all the wizbangs, swings, shoes, clothes, and such…but baby is gonna do what the hell she wants right? But it has been an interesting learning experience and has opened my eyes to so many things that I never would have expected, and if you are dad or becoming a dad? You may relate with some of the stuff I will be sharing below.
–So you’re gonna be dad…time to momentarily freak out.
Well yea, right away? Probably…I know I sure did. Looking at expenses of daycare, food, toys, and supporting another life…HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA DO THIS!?!? Truthfully? Whether you believe it or not? There is a way. Take it from me….I bought a house during pregnancy. Is baby going to cost a lot? Sure as hell is…but something kinda happens when baby gets announced…you kinda start caring less about whatever big needs for you. Whether it be the morning coffee from Starbucks, the next game console, or whatever. You’re mind goes into baby mode and you start thinking about what baby needs before you. Do I want a Playstation 5? Hell yea I do…but I know that Playstation 5 will be there down the road…baby is now. The world of NEED vs WANT seems to get pretty real.
–Never doubt the amazing generosity of others.
I’ve been blessed with an amazing family and friends and I understand not everyone has that luxury. However, it’s interesting to see what kind of people come out the woodwork that want to help you. I’ve had old college friends, family members I keep very little contact with, and more all show up and share the excitement. You know that whole expression of ‘It take a village to raise a child.’ It’s oddly kind of right….while Katie and I are the leaders in the brigade, it’s been really amazing to see people giving advice, sharing wisdom, etc. Sometimes it can get annoying, but you’d be surprised on some of the good advice you may get or you never considered. Basically? Expect the unexpected.
-Be there for Mom as much as you humanly can be.
Hey new Dad…guess what? You’re doing maybe 10% of the work with this baby….you know who’s the superstar here? Mom…seriously she is. You did your part by putting this baby in her, and now she’s feeding, nurturing, putting work aside, rough sleeping, moving slowly, stressing, and changing her ENTIRE LIFE for baby. You know what you can do? Be there when she needs it as much as you can humanly be….do the dishes, vacuum the house, do the laundry, and don’t complain….BUT REMEMBER…she’s pregnant, she ain’t dead….she’s part of the household and wants to feel like she’s contributing outside of growing a baby. There’s nurturing and OVER nurturing…basically? Don’t be a chode, she’s your wife/baby momma…she’s still the same person you’ve lived with for however long.
–That baby registry.
When we were doing the baby registry, I thought to myself plenty of times ‘No one is gonna buy us stuff for this baby.’ My wife would also say, ‘No that’s too expensive, let’s not put that on there.’ Family, friends, co-workers are some of the most caring people you will ever have in your life and they want to see you succeed probably more than you…kids deserve the best…a fun childhood to learn, grow, and be loved…and it has been a mind blowing experience seeing the items that people have gifted us for this baby. So when you do that registry? Go for whatever you feel as though you need and don’t question price. In a world of depressing social media stuff where all you see is news about COVID-19, it’s been really amazing and heartwarming to see the generosity of people when a new baby is on the way.
–You’re never gonna be the perfect dad, and you shouldn’t strive to be.
So now you have all the stuff…crib, bottle warmer, mounds of diapers, etc. GOOD FOR YOU THAT’S AWESOME! But…now you gotta be Dad, and you want to be the best Dad ever! I hate to tell you, but you aren’t gonna be…so you should probably just that out of your head now…you’re gonna drop baby, you’re gonna stay late at work, you’re gonna forget stuff, you’re gonna forget to be a good husband, it’s not going to be perfect…and the more you strive for perfect? The more stress it’s all gonna be and chances are you might end up doing more damage that way. Do you know what you can do though?…..do your best.
That’s all you can really do, and I’m starting to realize this as baby is just around the corner. She isn’t even here yet and I have A LOT of discovering to do, but I do know that it ain’t gonna be perfect, wife isn’t going to be perfect, life isn’t going to be perfect. But I can sure do my best to make that kid happy, and even that may be difficult somedays.
Thanks for coming to my NedTalk…welcome to Fatherhood new Dads!
