I was about to burn the place down.
I get why people do online shopping, cause they avoid crowds and most of the time it is cheaper…but since I am kinda a last minute shopper? I braved the crowds to get those gifts so I didn’t have to wait and wait and wait for the mailman to come.
Because of this though? I ran into the worst thing about holiday shopping…..HOLIDAY SHOPPERS! I’m not saying it’s YOU, but it might be. So here are the 5 people I just….couldn’t deal with.
- The DEAD Stopper.
You’re trying to get out of the store, get your thing and go right? But then you look down the aisle, there are like 90 people there and traffic is flowing just fine….and then, a stand still, cause that person needs to check their list, look at their phone or whatever…..MOOOOOOOOOOOVE or at least CHECK behind you to make sure you’re not blocking the damn aisle! I almost run into your stupid ass cause of this, and then when I swoop around you…YOU GIVE ME the dirty look! LIKE….YOU STOPPED RIGHT THERE!
- The Car Drop Off.
This is just as annoying…when you are in your car, just trying to leave that dumb parking lot filled with 9 trillion cars…then SUDDENDLY a dead stop in front of the store. No hazards, just stopped. You sit there questioning and wondering why is this person stopping? Then seemingly 9 minutes later a body emerges out of the car, grabbing their purse, coat, kids, and just taking forever….again….MOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. I get their is a convenience to it all, but it always happens to me…every time.
- The Person Buying the Same Thing as I am and Taking Forever.
You see it right? Well, grab it and go….this isn’t a negotiation…just get the thing….the price is there, you know you are spending that money…no, don’t price check other stores. GET OUT OF THE WAY! I need that toy too…get your damn cart of out the way. Why does it HAVE to be in front of the thing that every damn person is buying right now?
- The Mid-Aisle Conversation
I’m glad you ran into Aunt Gladys at Farm & Fleet…but do you have to have afternoon tea right in the shopping aisle? You can tell people are shopping, go to the damn Panera Bread up the street, grab a damn bagel and talk about how your husband is being ‘Dave’ again. Ohhhh DAVE! Well Dave, maybe give Gladys some time with her sister cause she’s clogging the damn aisle with her conversation about what kind of candy canes John wants on the tree…. meanwhile, I’m running a Nascar race in aisle A1 to get a Marble Run…but NOOOOO….you basically are having a text conversation.
- The Abandoned Cart
Where did this cart come from? Why is it in the middle of the aisle? Who’s is it? Where is its owner? Who just leaves a damn cart in the middle of the aisle? I feel for the people that work at these places, cause they have to wrangle all of you cattle and your insanity. No one wants to touch it either cause the owner might not come back….what is it? A lost dog? What’s the story behind the abandoned cart? WHO JUST LEAVES A CART IN THE AISLE? Dickhead….
Happy damn holidays.
