It really is.
It’s kind of a hard to write this because it deals with mental health. These days the term ‘mental health’ is seemingly everywhere, and it affects people so hard on a daily basis. I have multiple friends that attend therapy, and the therapist that I have heard of are usually BOOKED solid for months in advance.
Ok….that’s a problem.
But for the past few years now, I’ve started to realize that my mental capacity has really taken a hit. Anything from work, home life, becoming a Dad, dealing with other peoples problems, and the dreaded aspect of me that I have a hard time fixing? Being a YES Man.
Being a YES man, can be horrific. You feel like you are the guy that keeps peace, that wants to make people happy and help in anyway possible right? A sense of fear in disappointing people. I’ve been that way for years, and now as I get older…I’m starting to realize how much of a problem that is becoming. I start to take on other peoples problems….they get to vent and feel better, and I get to soak in their problems and take them on as my own. That’s not good…because of this, I get taken advantage of, disrespected, and become a push over.
I also have a problem with ‘self appreciation.’ Like say I was to do a good job right? People are giving me applause, tell me I’m awesome, or whatever….thank you first of all. For me though? I INSTANTLY go to…’What could I have done better?’ I raised over $7500 for sick kids in 24 hours, my first thought? “Why didn’t I raise $8000?” It sucks man!!! I have interviewed some of the biggest rock musicians ever, but anytime I do it? “Ahhh that could have went better” even though there are hundreds of comments saying ‘That was awesome man!’ Also, 400 people could be telling me how awesome I did right? But it’s that one that says something negative, and it all comes crashing down.
Honestly, COVID shut downs affected many people….lost jobs, death, etc. During COVID, I bought a house and had a daughter which is so awesome and I am proud of that. During that time though, 2 places ended up shutting down…which I really hinged a good amount of mental health on….Spicoli’s Reverb and Family Video. Before you laugh, hear me out. Spicoli’s STILL was the only place booking lower tier bands….heavy metal, local stuff, etc. Live music is my blood, and not having that for nearly 2 years while dealing with a massive life change? No live music meant no real escape for my brain to take a break…you ever watch Cheers and Norm walks in and they say ‘NOOORM!’ Yea, Spicoli’s was my Cheers…and now it’s gone (kind of…if you know you know) Family Video? When I say that I get odd looks…but believe it or not, Family Video was one of my big hooks to get me to Iowa 6 years ago. You know me, I’m a nerdy dude with a hinge on nostalgia. Walking into Family Video felt like home…the smell, physical media, renting a video game, ordering a pizza and renting a movie. Even if I didn’t even watch the movies? I’d go in there, blast $5 and not watch them…because I wanted the feel and experience. It just felt good to be in there. I understand that Fam Vid was on its way out cause technology and streaming took over, but COVID was the final nail in that coffin.
What does this all circle down to? Guys….it’s OK to not be OK….everyone has problems, and as you can tell? I sure have mine. Are they BIG problems? Am I still breathing air? Do I have a house and a wonderful family? Yes, and I am grateful….but that doesn’t mean I’m happy every single day like society expects me to be.
Mental health is important…if something is not right? Fix it…don’t look at yourself as a failure, and there is nothing wrong with admitting failure either. Those days of ‘Be a Man’ may work for some, but not everybody. I think it’s more ADULT to own your problems and fix them, but the first step is admitting it.
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