Transcript
The Rock 108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall · Wed Feb 1, 2023
Brian Marshall and the
Rock 108 Morning Show.
Good morning, Bert.
How you doing?
Good.
How you doing?
Doing well.
I guess I said good morning, but you're in Europe right now, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm in London.
I just got dropped off a part of a Rolex store and there was so many Rolexes I wanted.
Bert Kreischer, welcome back.
It is good to talk to you.
It's good to be grounded in America as I sit here with my feet in London.
What in the heck are you doing over there?
You having some fun with the European crowds?
I just found marijuana in my pocket and I have had it in this jacket pocket all through Europe.
So I have been smuggling drugs into Greece, Germany, Antwerp, Amsterdam, Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen and now in London.
No, we were doing a tour.
I was doing a tour here in Europe for all of January.
And we ended it last night in Birmingham and I'm in London tonight.
I'm doing some press out here and then I head out
to Wednesday to get back to the States to start my tour.
So how does a European crowd react to what you do?
Cause in American crowd, I mean, you're one of us.
It's funny you say that identical.
I mean, it's identical.
You almost wouldn't know you're in a different country.
Like they look like American crowds.
They've, I mean, it's like big dudes with beers, with wives that they don't deserve.
And they're big beer drinkers.
They give you a weed after the show.
It's the exact.
Same.
I mean, I, and they get, they get all the jokes, all the nuanced jokes.
You don't have to change anything.
That makes it easy for you.
Cause I mean, you and I have been working together, I think all the way back to the Hurt Burt days at any point, did you say, Oh, I'm going to go to Europe.
I'm going to travel over there.
I'm going to play stadiums.
Was that on even on your radar back then?
No, no, no.
I mean, not, not even in the slightest.
I said last night I got emotional and Birmingham.
And it's happened a couple of times where I was like, I never, ever once saw myself.
playing in a different country at all.
The first time I came to, you know, if I did Edinburgh and I bombed 22 days in a row and to no one, to like audiences of eight people that didn't speak English.
And I was like, this just isn't on my radar.
It'll never happen for me.
And then I ran into Connor McGregor the other night at his restaurant and he was like, yeah, man, we both sold out the O3 arena.
I'm like, shit, like thinking that is just, that's mind blowing to me.
Do you see the news that somebody ran into Conor McGregor while he was riding his bike?
Yeah, I just heard about that.
I was doing a podcast and someone was like, he got out into by someone's bike.
I was like, shut up.
I was with him the other night.
It's so crazy.
And then he gets in the car with a guy who just calls him and his bike off to where he was headed to.
Dude, he is Jack.
I will tell you that right now.
He is Jack.
He smells fantastic and his clothes are sensually
amazing.
What do you do when you're not on stage there in Europe?
Are you seeing the sites?
Are you going shopping?
What, what are you doing?
No, I don't, I mean, a little bit like we tried it.
We're trying to walk 10,000 steps every day, but for the most part I'm, uh, I work out with my trainer.
Uh, we're living on a bus and going into hotels every day.
I try to work out.
I try to do like a polar plunge, a jog, a sauna
then, uh, get a nap.
I mean, cause it is work, you know, like that's the hard part is like you're in these beautiful places, but it is work.
You do want the show to be good.
So I can't really go out to, I want to go out the pubs and just get hammered in the afternoon.
Like they do, but I can't, I had two days off in Amsterdam and I did a ton of drugs and did a ton of boozing and went to a banana club.
I don't know if you know what that is, but it was eventful.
Do you have to wear anything special at the banana club?
No, no, no, no.
You just have to not have a problem with potassium or females.
Recently, I mean, obviously, probably Russia is off of the list for now.
No, we had Russia planned.
We had Russia planned.
We had Asia planned all before the pandemic hit.
I was supposed to do a show in Moscow.
And yeah, now I guess Putin screwed that up for me.
So, Poon's been a pain in my ass for a while.
I'll tell you, if I ever run into that guy, we're gonna have words.
You're one of the first people I can ask this question to.
How cool is Mark Hamill?
He's the coolest in the way that you'd want every celebrity to be the coolest.
Like, he makes sure that you get your moment with Luke Skywalker.
Like, when you meet him, he is generous.
He answers every question a little extra, tells you a little something secret that he didn't tell the other guy.
You know, and he is the ultimate
Burt creature, our guest on the rock 108 morning show.
So I'm, I'm bringing up Mark Hamill because you guys did work together on your movie, the machine.
Now, is there a release date for this yet?
Or what's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so we didn't, it's, you know, going back to Putin, he screwed up a lot for me.
The, uh, you know, they, I think everyone was a little gun side to release a movie that had, you know, the word Russia in it at all.
And so we were kind of sitting on a shelf.
just waiting for this, you know, for everything to kind of clean up or clear up.
And I didn't see it to be a problem.
I thought this movie has not, it's not pro Russia.
It's a good movie.
And I don't think, I think, I think it's Hollywood being a little extra cautious when I didn't think they need to be.
So I got a teaser that from the studio, from the studio, and I leaked it on Rogan.
And the second I leaked it on Rogan,
It got like, I think six million impressions without any marketing budget.
Not one comment was negative.
No one said anything bad about like, you know, cancel culture or whatever
the
hell people talk about like that.
And immediately we got a distributor and the first thing they said is we want to go out wide in theaters, want to do a thousand theaters Memorial Day weekend.
And so thank God, thank God for me being.
impatient and impulsive.
But, uh, but yeah, I leaked it on Rogan and then.
And now we're going in theaters.
So we're on pumps, man.
It's going to be Memorial Day weekend.
It's going to be huge.
We
thousand theaters and we're planning a huge, uh, event to, uh, to like for like Thursday night, I think we're doing a live event in movie theaters.
It's going to be great.
I can't wait.
How did you nerd out with Mark Hamill?
You know, in all honesty, I had a moment when we got, we had to take a private jet from.
Van Nuys to Serbia.
And I have a fear of flying.
And I immediately got on a plane with Mark Hamill.
I go, there's no way I'm crashing with Luke
There's no way.
It was like that was the first thing.
And then one of the producers on the plane and he goes, we're sitting with Luke Skywalker.
He's on our plane.
We can ask him anything.
He's the reason we got into movies.
Like every boy wanted to be Luke Skywalker.
And so I think my real joy was watching people get to have their moment with Mark.
watching Mark be the dude that you'd hope he was you know
like it was he's just he really honestly like anything babe mark what's Carrie Fisher like and he just has 10 stories he picks from what's what Harrison Ford like hey can I ask you a question when James Earl Jones he goes let me tell you about him he just really does he's the best he's the freaking best man
well in people kind of have that affinity for you as well because
I feel like I don't see any negativity when it comes to you because of the way that you not only make yourself available, but you're just always, to me, it seems like in a good damn mood.
Well, I'm in a good mood.
I'm sure there's, I'm looking at there was a reason there's a reason I don't read comment.
So I'm sure you can find some negativity.
But I try to have a good time and I want people to have a good time.
I didn't get in this to get political or try to be divisive.
I want, I just want everyone to
like when they, if I do something, I want them to make it, to make them a little bit happier.
And that's it.
And so I think if you look at, I mean, it's comedy for Christ's sake, you know, it's not, I'm not a politician and I'm not some commentator.
I'm not Rush Limbaugh.
I'm just Bert, the comedian who takes his shirt off and drinks a lot and sometimes gets involved with mafia.
If you don't know the story, look up the machine on YouTube and the movie coming out soon here, would you say Memorial Day weekend, right?
Memorial Day weekend in a thousand theaters and I'm guarantee you we will be in a theater near you because that's where my I mean that's the one thing I was like I was like screw the coastal elite goes let's go to the center of the country that's where people go I go that's where I perform that's where I own it I want to do shows where I perform I want these movies to be at movie theaters where I perform and so we're going to my biggest market and we're going into those movie theaters
so you're coming to the market birdie boy relapse to our
That's going to be on February the 23rd at the Align Energy Powerhouse downtown Cedar Rapids.
You've been here before doing theater shows and it seems like you and Tom Segura have been alternating trips to Cedar Rapids.
It's you, you know, you play the theater, he goes out and he plays the amphitheater and then you're playing the big house and he's going back to the amphitheater.
So Tom just can't land the big house like you did.
You know, you know, I play for his career.
I hope that the guy finds himself.
when you got in the podcast game, especially with Tom, how easy does it make it for you when the two of you can just sit back and basically shoot the S, you know, the entire time.
I gotta be honest with you.
Sometimes it's, sometimes it just is like no, like no work at all.
And then sometimes like, especially like we did, we did three in a day one time on that third one, we were pulling teeth.
I was like, I was like, can you talk about your kids again?
I mean,
The best is because we you know, we don't we don't see each other.
He doesn't live in LA anymore.
So anytime I see him It's me pulling into Austin for two days and so we really get to catch up all at once in In like in like a three-hour moment window and then we just film it So it's kind of the best.
I mean, I wish you lived in LA just for making it easier for me But but it it works out for the product.
I think it's better and and
It also helps because we can do gas bears and we have two cities to choose from instead of one city.
And it's great.
I mean, I'm very lucky to do that podcast with them.
I adore my best friend, but they'll never say those nice things about me.
They probably won't.
We'll find out later this year with all the traveling that you have done.
I mean, you're talking to me from Europe right now in London.
Coolest place on your passport.
Gee, you know, sadly, this is going to sound silly.
My favorite place in the world, Hawaii.
My favorite place in the world is Hawaii without a doubt.
It's so user-friendly.
It's so set up for you to have the best time of your life that I'm always blown away when someone hasn't been to Hawaii.
That's how great Hawaii is.
I've been looking forward to these Scandinavian trips because I've been really into polar plunging and thawing lately.
Yeah.
So these trips are really awesome.
But India is my big white whale.
That's where I want to go.
I want to go to India.
You're mentioning these polar plunges.
What got you into that?
Rogan.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, well, it's, it's Rogan had a couple of people on his podcast that we're talking about polar plunging and sauna and Dr. Rhonda Patrick.
And then I got into sautéing and then because of layered Hamilton, I started noticing he was polar plunging.
And so I reached out to, it's a Gabby, his wife, and she was told me how to do it.
And I couldn't do it for more than a minute.
And then I got to a place where I learned how to do it for more than three minutes.
And I fell in love with it.
It made me put me in a better mood.
I felt phenomenal.
My body, I never felt better.
My mood was great.
And so now I do it all the time.
And so then when we did the Scandinavian tour, I was like, you know, I know they have polar plunges on fjords.
They have saunas on fjords where you can jump into the freezing water in a fjord and polar plunge there.
And so we did that our first day in Oslo.
It was amazing, amazing.
But I've read this hangover cure.
This came out here recently where if you dunk your face in ice water three times, it activates your diver reflex, and it's supposed to get rid of your hangover.
Would you agree or disagree with something like that?
I go underwater.
I go underwater hard.
Whoa.
So yeah, I go underwater in my polar plunge.
I go underwater, hold my breath, and try to keep my head under it.
I heard the same thing.
It's like your reptilian, something about your reptilian phase or something.
OK.
Dude, I'm telling you, man, it sucks to hangover away immediately.
That's incredible.
Do you have any other hangover cures?
Because I think you've partied a few times in your day.
My hangover cure for me is I go to the gym, I run, I lift weights, I sweat everything out, then I pull up lunch.
And I'm telling you, if you do all of that with a cup of coffee, you're right as rain.
When I was in Serbia every day before shooting, I run four miles in a park.
And even if I hated it, I didn't want to do it, you pushed through it.
all of a sudden, one mile in, you're like, that's not that bad.
You get to the end of four miles and you're like, I feel like a brand new man.
I bet you didn't think this morning on the rock, one way morning show, we'd have Brick Kreischer who's got a show coming up February 23rd, a line energy powerhouse giving you hangover and workout tips.
Let me tell you something.
I'm the, I'm the Alex Jones of fitness.
Hopefully you're not having to pay out as much money as he did.
February 23rd, a lion energy powerhouse with the birdie boy relapse tour, the machine, the movie with Mark Hamill helping out.
No, no, he plays my dad.
This is even cooler.
So that makes you a Jedi by proxy.
Yeah, I'm a Jedi
by proxy.
was I going to say?
What is that Darth Vader is my grandfather?
I'm looking forward to seeing you in town.
It was great to see at the theater in Paramount.
Last time looking forward to seeing you on the big stage there at the arena.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
Come backstage.
Have a drink with me and say hi.
Hell yes.
