Skill switch engaged with I believe on the rock 108 morning show Brian Marshall joined by a friend of the show Tom Garland.
What's up, Brian?
How you feeling?
I'm feeling better.
Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Vegas whooped up on you a little bit.
Vegas did whoop on me.
Yeah, I was there and then I came back and I got I got strep throat, which I don't even I didn't know you could get as an adult.
Well, you can
if you go to Vegas.
Yeah, stay in Vegas.
How are the shows on the stage?
I know you booked quite a few of them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was performing on Fremont Street, which is also probably where I got sick.
Filthy, crazy Fremont Street, but it was fun, man.
I performed at a place called the downtown comedy lounge that's there on Fremont Street and just really fun shows, good crowds.
And it was there Friday and Saturday
night.
That was your home away from home for quite a few years.
So to get back kind of had to feel
You know, a little bit nostalgic in a way.
Yeah, definitely.
It's so fun because Vegas is always like everyone's from all over the country and stuff.
So that's that's fun, too.
So it's kind of like being on a tour without going anywhere.
Well, have you been
to
Florida
much?
I've spent a ton of time in Florida back when I did stand up on the road.
Besides alligators, what large bird do you think is causing a problem as far as infesting Florida?
Is it pelicans like they swoop down and get the food?
Yeah, no, it's not pelicans.
I mean they're a big bird though, but they're really pretty They're really pretty pretty birds.
Yeah Is it?
No, I don't know you're saying no because you don't want to say the word on the air Yeah, no actually it's peacocks peacocks.
Yeah, there's a peacock problem So a local veterinarian launched a program to start to curb the peacock
A problem that's going on in Florida right now.
Take a listen to this.
When I was growing up, there were no peacocks.
Our neighborhoods were full of herons, blue herons, and ibises.
The official bird of the University of Miami is the ibis.
That's what we want to see in our neighborhood.
Those are the native species.
And now, really, you would think that our mascot is the peacock, because they're everywhere.
A male will fight for his territory, even to the extent of attacking his own reflection.
in a car door.
So his name is Kyle.
He like punches drywall, likes to drink monster.
That sounded, can I just say that sounded like the most racist.
If I didn't know they were talking about peacocks.
That sounded like the whitest, most racist thing.
Like they're ruining the neighborhood.
You know, they're not native here, whatever.
We have to deport them.
We have to get the peacocks out of Florida.
They're all over Mar-Lago.
They're not doing that.
They are giving the peacocks vasectomies.
What?
Yes.
So they- You didn't expect that today,
did you?
No.
Peacock vasectomies.
That scene-
At that point you've already clearly caught one.
Yeah.
But then you- I would assume you have to knock them out for the surgery.
Yep.
You put like a little red solo cup on their face and you just- You know, play them a little Florida Georgia line.
I
got you today, didn't you?
That's so weird.
That's like, that's so much effort to just, to what?
Just slowly make them extinct?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you have to find them first.
You know, Bob?
Yeah.
Bob, uh, what was his name?
Bob Barker always said, keep your pet spayed or neutered.
I didn't remember him saying, get your peacock a vasectomy.
Why would you give them a vasectomy?
That's so weird.
Wouldn't you just shoot one at that point?
Wouldn't that just
I mean, now you're sounding Florida.
Yeah.
Say
it like, you know, you got a
big fan for a
tail.
What do I want to
do?
It's 12 games right here.
You're going to take care of you, little peacock.
I'll give you a vasectomy you won't soon forget.
That's the problem with Florida is you have two demographics You have the the the crankheads of the world and then like the oldest people in the world Neither of them can probably take on a peacock
They're aggressive.
Yeah, watch out Peacock vasectomies.
She's make sure you look that up on Google top five Tuesday with Tom Garland is coming up Plus your chance at Theo Vaughn tickets in just a few minutes.
You know when
you're
From the top it's top five Tuesday on the rock 108 morning show
all right, so I go from Theo Vaughn and now I've got somebody in studio Tom Garland How far you've fallen yeah, yeah, but you're not returning as a rat
No,
he's a rat.
I mean if you were to have a spirit animal which spirit animal would you choose Tom Garland?
Probably the peacock Watch out for peacock miss activities only available in Florida Wow, okay peacock Tom Garland is a
Hmm, that's an interesting one.
What do we got for a top five today?
Okay, so
I don't know if you know this, but it's teacher appreciation week.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, so we're trying to appreciate the teachers and and I Did you ever like bring a teacher a gift at school when you're little very young?
Yeah, I mean you were supposed to oh, thank you so much
You know for teacher
making sure that I don't get a red card today and go to the principal's office Exactly.
So yeah, these
are these are some ideas for your kids to give gifts to the teachers the top five gifts for teacher appreciation week
Number five, a get out of jail free card.
I don't know if it'll help your defense, but it says like, hey, look, they consented.
Oh, no.
Oh,
no.
Wow.
Some hot teachers out there, Brian.
There are.
Why weren't there hot teachers when we
were growing
up?
There was a Mrs. Wartmonger.
That wasn't her real name, but.
I didn't want to see
her on only fans.
I was telling these to my wife last night as I was working through them and my wife, she was like, that's not true.
I was like,
Google teacher sexual and then click news and then tell me that every day There's not a different story and I was like and they're hot.
There's a
song about it by Van
Halen
Hot for teacher.
Absolutely.
Please
tell your wife who's having a birthday today
that there
is a song about this
I'm sure she'll love it number four These are gifts for teacher appreciation week number four bringing back the Department of Education
Here's a gift that old department that used to support you.
Yeah, that's back Linda McMahon won't allow that to happen You're gonna take a chair to the head before that happens.
Hey brother.
Yeah,
that was the word for me
brother a favorite
nations
Number three, school supplies, you know, like a bulletproof vest.
Oh boy.
Ammunition.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Thing to defend yourself.
Okay.
Maybe a school peacock, just release one of those.
Yeah, with an AK-47.
Somebody gets violent.
Wow.
Number two, Jell-O shots.
Now those aren't necessarily for the teacher, but you can give them out to the kids.
Did you
see this news story?
No.
Oh, so somebody brought like Jell-O shots and gave them out to a bunch of kids
and the kids were
like, my head feels funny.
Oh.
I was like, that'd be nice if you're the teacher.
Like back in the day, they used to just wheel in the video.
You know, they'd wheel in that TV and they'd be like, I'm hungover.
Please watch Miracle, and then Miracle, ours was Braveheart.
Braveheart?
Yeah.
You got to
watch Braveheart in school.
Yeah.
True it are.
He sure was.
Wow.
Our teacher was very hungover.
Watching three parts.
He's like, all right, kids, this is Lawnmower
Man.
Yes.
What does this have to do with any of that?
You guys
like they live?
Yeah.
That's weird.
That's just like, okay.
Yeah.
And the number one thing we should give a teacher for teacher appreciation week is a raise, right?
Absolutely.
Wouldn't that be nice?
But probably not.
Probably just an apple that like a second grader already get out of.
But if you get an apple, you can smoke out of it.
Oh.
Is that what you do?
Yeah,
there's something to teach the
kids.
See, all of this you can get if you follow Tom Garland.
You can do so on Facebook.
Where do they find you?
Yeah, you can find
me on Facebook.
But if you go to my Facebook today, say happy birthday to my wife, Izzy Garland.
So happy it's her birthday.
But yeah, Tom Garland, I'm on Facebook.
I'm on all this stuff.
You just Google me.
And I've got a comedy special out on Tubi.
It's absolutely free.
It's called Tom
Garland Selling Out.
And that one.
On top of this, I saw maybe just maybe.
Is this all right to say?
Yeah.
Go for it.
Huskies.
Huskies
coming soon.
Yes.
Yeah.
My other comedy special coming soon too.
It's called Tom Garland.
Bring it.
That's, um, both those are on their way to distributors pretty soon.
So yeah, look at, he's got all this, all the
things working today.
He's like a peacock running around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not fixed yet.
Yeah.
712 Pearl Jam now.
From the Christy Door Studios of Rock 108.
Doors
go
up, doors go
down.
That's what garage doors do.
Experience the Christy Door different.
That sleep theory static on Rock 108's Tom Garland with us.
And I have to know, you're probably on quite a few podcasts over the course of time, right?
Oh yeah, yep.
You ever had to do a podcast on Skype?
Yeah, I've done a couple on Skype.
Yeah,
I feel I feel like that became a big thing during the pandemic.
Yeah, you know comedians were like trying to go on on Skype and they were trying to do like Skype shows.
I tried to do one of them and I was like, oh my God, I'm never doing this again.
I feel like there's certain things that translates for like it doesn't work for comedians, works very well for webcam girls.
I feel like they always talk about the pandemic.
They're like, everyone was affected by the pandemic.
It's like not webcam girls.
They were doing just like that.
You can go on there at any time of day during the pandemic.
It was ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
I
was like, oh, that is.
industry is just booming right now.
Well, they've lost one of their opportunities and that is Skype is now folded into teams.
Oh, Skype is shutting down 22 years, which that to me is a surprise.
I
thought maybe five, six years max because of the pandemic
deal.
And then now it's folded into teams, teams.
It's
been bought up or something.
Yeah,
Microsoft teams that.
Don't know if I want that because teams seems to be that's what we used in my previous gig in a corporate setting
Yeah, we use that in the like corporate stuff that I've done before too.
I I don't like that name teams
Well, you don't know.
I don't like anything corporate or anything professional or jobs when they're like, hey, team, we're a team.
I'm like, come on, like, like one day we're going to all dump Gatorade and our boss when we get a raise or something like that.
Like we're not a team here.
This is, you know, yeah, let's put a pin in that.
Yeah.
Let's circle back some synergy.
Yeah, I just
all of that corporate stuff.
Yeah.
I hate
it.
I'm sure that there's a few of you right now getting ready for a yellow circle meeting before your retail set up and
Best Buy.
Were you all just rah-rah together?
Think if you could do that on Microsoft Teams.
You could do that on Zoom.
You know, I have Zoom.
I was using it when I was doing the jock to jock podcast with the Iowa athletes.
And
it was
always that one thing where you would have to be like, your microphone's off.
Yeah.
Your microphone's off.
I didn't know this, that the Zoom, you have to restart it.
at some point, like the free version of it, it only goes for so long.
Whoa, what, really?
Yeah, have you noticed this?
We was on with my wife's family, lives in Nevada, and so we were on Zoom with them, so we can see them and talk, and it was like 20 minutes, and then it kicks off, or whatever.
You can use that to your advantage, too, and you're
just... Looks like we got one minute remaining,
so.
Yeah, it's like, oh, look at that, oh, it goes up, there you go, in-laws, bye-bye.
So...
Takeaways from today.
Skypes goes away and now webcam girls have to figure out another method to do their, their craft.
Yeah.
Well, you're thinking about it.
I was, I was going to say like the real victim of today is the peacock in Florida.
Yes.
They've got to figure out a whole new method.
Yeah.
The word, I mean, like, you know how Peewee Herman had his Peewee's Playhouse and there was a word of the day.
I think the word of today is peacock bisectomy.
Every time you hear that, you scream real loud.
All right.
728 forecast is up next right now at us cellular.
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
It's
top five Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.
Alright, so I go from Theo Vaughn, and now I've got somebody in studio, Tom Garland.
How far you've fallen, yeah.
Yeah, but you're not returning as a rat.
No.
He's a rat.
I mean, if you were to have a spirit animal, which spirit animal would you choose, Tom Garland?
Probably the peacock.
Watch out for Peacock Missectomies only available in Florida Wow, okay Peacock Tom Garland is a hmm.
That's an interesting one.
What do we got for a top five today?
Okay, so I don't know if you know this but it's teacher appreciation week
Oh, okay, yeah.
Yeah, so we're trying to appreciate the teachers and and I Did you ever like bring a teacher a gift at school when you're a little very young?
Yeah, I mean you were supposed to oh, thank you so much
You know for teacher
making sure that I don't get a red card today and go to the principal's office
exactly so these are These are some ideas for your kids to give gifts to the teachers the top five gifts for teacher Appreciation week number five a get out of jail free card
I don't know if it'll help your defense, but it says like hey look they consented and oh no, oh
no
Some hot teachers out there Brian
there are why weren't there hot teachers when we
were growing
up?
There was a mrs. Wartmonger, but that wasn't her real name But you know I didn't
want to see her on only fans my I was telling these to my wife last night as I was working through and my wife She was like that's not true.
I was like
Google teacher sexual and then click news and then tell me that every day There's not a different story and I was like and they're hot.
There's a
song about it by Van
Halen Hot
for teacher.
Absolutely.
Please
tell your wife who's having a birthday today
that there is
a song about this I'm
sure she'll love it number four These are gifts for teacher appreciation week number four bringing back the Department of Education
Here's a gift that old department that used to support you.
Yeah, that's back Linda McMahon won't allow that to happen You're gonna take a chair to the head before that happens.
Hey, brother.
Yeah,
that was the word for me
brother
the
favorite nations
Number number three school supplies, you know, like a bulletproof vest.
Oh boy ammunition.
Oh boy.
Oh boy thing to defend yourself.
Okay.
Maybe a school peacock just released one of those with an AK-47.
Somebody gets violent.
Number two, Jell-O shots.
Now those aren't necessarily for the teacher, but you can give them out to the kids.
Did you see this news story?
No.
Oh, so somebody brought like Jell-O shots and gave them out to a bunch of kids and the kids were like, my head feels funny.
Oh.
I was like, that'd be nice if you're the teacher.
Like back in the day, they used to just wheel in the video.
You know, they'd wheel in that TV and they'd be like, I'm hungover.
Please watch Miracle.
And then Miracle, ours was Braveheart.
Braveheart?
Yeah.
You got to watch Braveheart in school.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure it are.
Sure was.
Wow.
Our teacher was very hungover.
Watching three parts.
It's like, all right, kids, this is lawnmower man.
Yes.
What does this have to do with any of that?
You guys
like they live?
Yeah.
That's weird.
That's just like.
Okay, yeah, and the number one thing we should give a teacher for teacher appreciation.
Yeah is a raise
right
when I'm nice But probably not probably just an apple that like a second grader already get out of yeah But if you get an apple you can smoke out of it.
Oh
Is that what you do?
Yeah, there's something to teach the kids.
See, all of this you can get if you follow Tom Garland.
You can do so on Facebook.
Where do they find you?
Yeah, you can find me on Facebook.
But if you go to my Facebook today, say happy birthday to my wife, Izzy Garland.
So happy it's her birthday.
But yeah, Tom Garland, I'm on Facebook.
I'm on all this stuff.
You just Google me.
And I've got a comedy special out on Tubi.
It's absolutely free.
It's called Tom Garland
Selling Out.
And that one.
On top of this, I saw maybe just maybe.
Is this all right to say?
Yeah.
Go for it.
Huskies.
Huskies coming soon.
Yes.
Yeah.
My other comedy special coming soon, too.
It's called Tom Garland.
Bring it.
That's both those are on their way to distributors pretty soon.
So yeah, look at he's got all this, all the things working
today.
He's like a peacock running around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not fixed yet.
Yeah.
712 Pearl Jam now.
The
Rock 108 Morning Show.
Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer, internet included, a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Apartment?
