1-20-26 TP5 Things That Are Dissapointing About 2026 So Far

Alright, you think you got it bad, Tom Garland?

72 year old ice fisherman in Canada is facing assault charges.

So, the deal was that this guy allegedly attacked someone on a frozen lake last Wednesday afternoon.

This is Canada, so, I mean, what are they probably doing out there?

They're ice

fishing, right?

That's right, both ice fishing and on a lake halfway between Toronto and Ottawa.

Cop showed up after the person he attacked called it in.

Michael Armstrong told the cops that he attacked the other ice fishermen because they were fishing too close to him Yeah,

that sounds like a Like Canadian violence right there.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean to me first of all if you were the fish they had to be like finally Violence above

the water

above the water like let these guys take each other out leave us be we're not hurting anything, right?

We're supposed to be safe under here and

That's basically just like a hockey match without the branding,

right?

If somebody brought some sponsored panels and set them around, that's basically hockey, just fight on the ice.

Do you think that they squared off like hockey players do, where they kind of circled each other and then they pulled his park over his head, shoved a took down his throat?

Yeah,

you know they all

played.

That's how they all fight.

Yeah,

I love I love that Canadian American violence is crazy

right

American violence is like I don't like everybody I'm gonna go to the mall with a gun and write a note Canadians are like it's basically seasonal and it requires a fishing license first Can you imagine these guys they're like art, but not that's you're too close there, but I bet he said sorry every time he punched him Sorry

Sorry.

Sorry, bud.

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that we've been doing this for top five Tuesdays.

I appreciate it.

Every single week, I try to get fired, Brian.

Every

single week.

Yeah.

Well, I'm just, you know, I feel bad on your end.

You're like, Tom, I want to bring you into the fold.

I want to, I want to just start bringing some more comedy on the station and that sort of thing.

And I'm like, cool, I want to push the limits of what's allowed here.

And then, you know, I can always feel there's a, so I appreciate it, Brian.

I'm joking around, but, but

yeah.

No, the good news is, is that you push the envelope, try to get fired.

The the audience benefits because they hear this they go.

Oh, that's gonna be the one.

Yeah

And then next week, I'll bring in somebody else and they'll take over.

It'll be a top six Tuesday.

There's plenty of somebody else.

No, I'm completely joking.

Top five Tuesday.

I'm excited for it.

What do you got this week?

Yeah.

Well, speaking of the last two years, you know, every time New Year's happens, I get so excited.

And I think this is this is going to be my year, right?

This is 2026 now.

This is the year.

And then disappointing stuff happens.

My bears lose.

I'm just sorry

about

that.

That's all right.

But, you know, this is

We're not even through January yet.

This year is already disappointing me, right?

So

yeah, that's what I have today.

These are the top five things already disappointing about 2026 so far.

Number five, I haven't been offered to be deported.

I would like a trip out of the country.

Right now, if somebody honestly came to me and they said, you're being deported.

We're taking you out of Iowa and you're gonna go to Alligator Alcatraz in Florida.

I'm like, did you say Florida?

Cause it is so cold here.

I will take a trip.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Set me up, you know, I'll meet the Alligators

and be fine.

Is it just me or do I have to bring my wife and dog through?

Exactly, right?

Solo trip, guys trip, honey.

Guys trip.

Me and the ice and the ATF and the DEA.

Oh

boy.

We're doing it.

Look out.

These are top five things already disappointing about 2026 so far.

Number four, it's already such a boring year.

People are going to see Avatar.

They're

just going.

They're like on their own free will.

Tom, I tried watching the first one over again.

Yeah, I gave up.

That should be the entry into the country is like if you can sit and watch all three avatars.

Part

of your process.

People would be like, nah, it's okay.

Those countries that are not getting the visas right now.

Watch your three avatars and call me back.

You

get a blue card.

The five million dollars is a gold card or whatever it is.

And a blue card, a blue avatar card is if you watch all three movies, then you're in.

Wow.

You

might have figured

it out.

You supported the American theater system.

James Cameron needs more money.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, these are top five things already disappointing about 2026 so far number three America wants to buy Greenland like we just discovered maps Right.

I think we saw that on a map.

We're like, what is that?

Like that's Greenland.

Like can we have that?

I don't

think so.

Yeah, we can't get the ones that are closer and warmer to you know, go get yourself a Puerto Rico.

No, let's go take a Greenland

Yeah, it's up there.

Yeah.

I don't know why we're doing that.

You don't want to take a vacation to Greenland?

I guess so.

I don't know.

It's cold though, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

It's like, it's just like Island Iowa.

That's

the time.

You may have figured this out.

That might be the T-shirt.

Greenland, Island Iowa.

Island Iowa.

Yeah.

Yeah.

These are the top five things already disappointing about 2026 so far.

Number two.

All the good porn sites are asking for ID.

Okay, like I'll just watch lower production porn.

I'm not giving that my ID, right?

They're like, can I see your driver's license?

I'm like, nope, I'll just keep going down the rabbit hole.

No longer nice sites for me.

Just weird, weird site.

I'll get Kazaa back.

I'll start doing that.

I'll tour

it, the stuff.

A little GeoCities action.

Yeah, I will use a VPN in Greenland.

And I will be like, this is technically American now.

That's why we want it.

Yeah,

there you go.

For the porn.

Get yourself some green hub.

Green hub.

There you go.

That's great.

And these were top five things already disappointing about 2026 so far.

Number one, the number one thing, number one, the NFL is going to end with Patriots or Broncos versus Rams or Seahawks.

It's like the NFL saying, please just clap.

Please watch, please clap.

We're sorry.

Look, here's Bad Bunny.

Oh, you guys are upset about that too?

All right, I'm sorry.

It's top five Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.

Today, your top five, Tom Garland.

A report recently ranked the countries in the world by average breast size.

That's

awesome.

So like the biggest, the

biggest

breast.

The biggest is going to be number one.

So I'm looking at the top five.

And so I need you to think about geography, where the mountains are.

Those types of things.

Okay.

All right.

So any guesses, go ahead and I'll kind of help you through.

I'm going to try to basically wing this number, number five, Canada.

Canada is on the list, but at number eight.

Okay.

Well, to me, cold weather means layers.

Right.

That's just like evolutionary.

Okay.

Right.

Number four, Brazil.

Brazil.

Oddly enough not on the list really to me the beach is like mandatory there.

I feel

like they've invented the microbe can

yeah, well they figured out how to do landscaping I Love it

America has to be on there.

That's correct number two number two

yeah number two this right here is the top five right now

ranking countries by the average breast size, the biggest being number one.

I was gonna say, we're like the fake jugs

capital of the world.

They can be fake, right?

I think so.

Yeah.

I mean, you know, you're just pumping things up, I guess, as it were.

It's like the old, the pumps like you had with Reebok.

Yeah.

Just here we go.

I'm a double D. Happy birthday.

I love it.

What else you got?

You want any clues?

This one has to

be on there.

Africa.

Africa is not on there.

Really?

Okay, I guess I'm from the generation where we had National Geographic was our material.

Was it?

Yeah,

totally.

Yeah, it would be like, somehow I'd be trying to get to it from the Land's End catalog, Yonkers catalog.

And

when that doesn't work, it's like, all right, grab the National Geographic.

Let's see some

stuff.

I

need to know more about Zimbabwe.

Yeah, exactly.

I still can't get excited unless there's a hut of some kind involved or like a lot of...

A revolutionary flag of some kind.

One of the countries in the top five is actually fairly close to another country we were just speaking about.

Oh, okay.

Is Columbia on there at all?

That's my last guess.

Columbia is number

seven.

Ah, jeez.

Yeah.

I'm just, I just thought like, you know, big drug industry draws big racks.

Nobody nobody wants to do yo off of a cups.

That's just

oh come on not even a little bit.

Well,

maybe a little alright

Just a little bump.

Yeah Are you ready?

All right number five Iceland that's next to Greenland.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, they're number five number four buried in the European Union Luxembourg

Luxembourg, you know where that's at.

No, but I I'm gonna check Allegiant flights Yeah, is that in Germany?

No, it's its own country.

Yeah, it's in the EU.

I

didn't just say that that's not totally.

No, that's okay The United Kingdom really so I have to imagine this includes Ireland to you know, so yeah anything in the UK United States at two number one.

It's a Scandinavian country What do you think?

It's also cold

The cold

throws me off.

It's not Czechoslovakia.

It's not Czechoslovakia the Scandinavian this one's actually number one is Norway Norway Norway Norway number one.

I could kind of see that

maybe yeah, it's like

yeah, you know, I'm a little You know how you were talking about Columbia.

I'm a little Like beside myself that Bolivia and Peru were not on this list

you would think so too and I've been to the UK I've been to like London and and all over

there

and I

I guess I didn't notice that.

They're dressed so nice.

Everybody's dressed so nice.

And everybody's so polite, too, over there.

Oh, in the UK?

In the UK.

That's like their thing is to be very polite in London and everything like that.

So I can't imagine, I guess if you have a big rack, at least nobody's cat calling you rudely about it.

Well, in Bolivia and Peru, you can at least go cleanse yourself in the waters of Lake Titicaca.

The Rock 108 Morning Show.